Still Human
by Linzerj
Summary: They're not perfect, but they're still human underneath the mutated exterior, and that's all that's ever mattered. (drabble series based on the "Rules for Being Human")
1. body

Uh.

Hey fandom. I'm back.

So if any of you read Danny Phantom and/or Randy Cunningham: Ninth Grade Ninja fanfiction, you'll probably be aware that I did this same drabble set for each of those fandoms as well. I just...I kept thinking about the Turtles for some of them and...well, third time's the charm.

Again, this is just a little ten-part drabble series. I don't own this set of "Rules for Being Human", nor do I own the Turtles or any other recognizable properties. I'm just doing this for my enjoyment. I hope all of you enjoy it as well.

* * *

**Still Human**

_1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around._

Hamato Yoshi was human, once upon a time.

He had enjoyed his life as a normal man, living with his wonderful Tang Shen and beginning a family with her in the form of their daughter, Miwa. Their only concern was Oroku Saki – who began calling himself Shredder – as his jealousy burned as a vengeful inferno, intent on breaking Yoshi and stealing Shen for himself.

It was all in vain, of course. Yoshi had escaped his clutches, and Shen was the one to fall instead. (He didn't learn about Shredder's consolation prize – Miwa, _Karai_ – until fifteen long years later.)

In order to conceal himself, Hamato Yoshi moved stealthily to America. The great, bustling city of New York became his home, and within a month he was settled, living a quiet life in the city that never slept.

Until, of course, he decided to buy a few turtles. (Tang Shen had loved wildlife, her favorite animals being turtles, cats, and, inexplicably, rats.) Four little turtles, innocently wandering around their bowl in the pet shop, recently hatched and ready to start a new life as his companions in the lonely life he now lived.

But he'd chosen to follow the strange man (the Kraang). And the consequences _burned_.

He'd dropped the glass transport aquarium for the turtles in the fight that had ensued, and in a quick retaliation he had lashed out at the man holding a strange canister. It clattered to the ground and the glass broke on the hard concrete, in tandem with the glass of the aquarium.

Light, and then pain, exploded behind Yoshi's eyes.

He could faintly hear the men retreating as he collapsed to the ground, pain flooding every synapse in his body. He was aware of his entire body changing; the fur erupting everywhere, a tail elongating from seemingly nowhere, his entire face being rearranged into a muzzle – a _rat_.

It was over as quickly as it had begun (or had it been hours since it had started? He couldn't tell) and then he was aware of four other presences, four little creatures groaning with aches.

He looked up, eyes still adjusting, and went still at the sight of the pet turtles he had purchased. No longer could he consider them pets, he supposed; intelligent, self-aware eyes stared back at him, more human than when this situation began.

(Did that make him less human, saying that? What could he consider himself, now?)

Hamato Yoshi, he decided, died for good that night. As he took the little turtles and raised them as his sons (like he would have raised Miwa), scavenging for food and supplies in order to survive, the man Yoshi once was faded into light background noise as Splinter the rat took the lead in how to live this new life.


	2. lessons

Somewhat (a lot) shorter than the last one. The first one was the first written, and it always seems that those are the longest...

* * *

**Still Human**

_2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or find them irrelevant and stupid._

Michelangelo hates school. Or, at least, he's pretty sure he'd hate school if he was enrolled in it.

Mikey is a free spirit, and he doesn't really like having to follow lessons a lot of the time. Sure, sometimes it's fun, especially the katas and other physical things, but he has a short attention span (ADHD, Donnie thinks) and he doesn't really enjoy sitting still for other things like meditation.

He can do it, though. He knows that the lessons are necessary for a well-balanced ninja, and that it may one day save his life. He takes the lessons in just like his brothers, albeit with his own twists and methods, and trudges on in becoming a ninja.

The orange-banded turtle might not like the lessons, but he sure as heck appreciates them.


	3. experiments

**Still Human**

_3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately work._

Donatello is a scientist. He, by nature, is always doing experiments, tinkering with the household appliances, or putting together cool inventions from junkyard scraps.

His father and sensei, of course, knows about how many old things get turned into new things. He is also the only one aware of Donatello's frustration when he fails.

When he was younger, Donnie thought of his failed experiments and inventions as mistakes, nothing more. They were errors in his data, and he couldn't let them stay. Splinter, however, told him that the mistakes are important too. You have to learn from your mistakes, not just brush them aside, or else you'll be doomed to repeat your mistakes over and over again.

He takes that lesson to heart, now. Dozens of trials with retro-mutagen finally produced a viable product, and April's father was saved because of it. New inventions like his glider wings and zip lines and the Shellraiser help his brothers stay alive on missions and get everything accomplished.

The one thing he hates to think of as a mistake is Metalhead. Metalhead, who saved his brothers and all those other mutants; Metalhead, who let himself get blown up so that Donatello could live.

He was not a failure, no matter what his brothers had said about his earlier designs. But he wasn't really an experiment, either.

Artificial intelligence meant Metalhead had _known_ what he was doing…known, but done it anyway. It nearly killed Donatello to think of it.

He couldn't think about it now, though. Metalhead could wait. Others like Timothy and Malachi and even Baxter and Bradford and Xever needed retro-mutagen cures as soon as possible.

Metalhead went into a box called "To Be Restored" instead of the "To Fix" box. He didn't need fixing. He just needed to be put back together again.


	4. repeat

**Still Human**

_4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson._

He growls as his fists slam into the punching dummy for about the twentieth time in the past three or so minutes. Raphael has a bit of anger management issues, sure; this is his way of getting them out.

Raph takes to the physical side of being a ninja quite deftly. He is the strongest, though not the fastest – that goes to Mikey, and then Donnie after him. He may not be the most disciplined either, but he makes up for it, he thinks, in raw force and determination.

But for his sensei and father, it never seems to be quite enough.

He wonders, sometimes, if this is some lesson he needs to overcome on his path to becoming a ninja. He's worked on his anger management, sure, and he's certainly improving, but it will never go away. Raphael is angry by nature. It is part of the reason his color is red – the color of rage.

Maybe the lesson continues on, though, because he has yet to learn to control his fury fully. It ebbs and flows in great bursts, and he knows it. Is the universe trying to tell him to let it out at a smooth rate or something along those lines?

That must be it, because Raph can't think of what else it could be.

He hates the lessons that come with being a ninja. But they're important, and he needs them, so he sucks it up and does the best he can.


	5. alive

**Still Human**

_5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive then there are lessons to be learned._

He'd thought, for one fleeting second when his sensei made him leader and let them go on their first real mission, that maybe he was done with the lessons now and could become a ninja master.

The thought had passed just as quickly as it had come. Leonardo knew that with leadership came heavy burdens, impossible decisions, and above all lessons. Lessons on how to fight, how to lead, how to decide – all important, and always continuing.

It gets tedious at times, too, but as he and his brothers continue on Leo realizes that the lessons never end. Splinter always has new lessons in store for them – and sometimes, he's seen his father meditating quietly in the dojo, murmuring about something or other and indicating that he, too, has learned something from the day's adventures.

The lessons never end, and Leo is glad for that, in a way. It means he's still alive to learn them.


	6. here

A/N: Oh my gosh thank you guys so much for all the support and reviews! I read every single one even if I don't respond to it, and they just make my day. I've finished writing all the chapters, so now it's just a matter of updating them. I'm trying to stick to an every-other-day schedule, but with real life getting pretty crazy...well, we'll see.

In the meantime, enjoy!

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**Still Human**

_6. THERE is no better than HERE. When your THERE has become a HERE, you will simply obtain another THERE that will again look better than HERE._

He used to wonder what life in America would be like, back when his and Saki's arguments were still young and Miwa had not yet been born.

He looked out across the great Pacific Ocean and wondered what the American people were like. Did they, too, fight over petty things like women, or were they as sophisticated as they made themselves out to be? Were they as intelligent as they claimed, violent as their few serial killers, unbalanced as most people whispered?

That was there, and this was here. He used to think there was better than here.

..

Now that there has become his here; he is in America, but it is nothing he thought it would be.

For starters, Miwa and Tang Shen are not there to share the experience with him. That alone makes this so much worse. But here he is, newly mutated and stuck taking care of four infant turtles, and not having a single clue as to what he should be doing.

He almost wishes he could go back to Japan, some days.

But other days he appreciates the second chance he's been given here in America, with these four small turtles that he almost considers…sons.

It would have been better with Miwa and Shen, though.

..

Miwa – Karai, now, he reminds himself – could very well become part of their family, some day, if she chooses to acknowledge and accept it. No matter what he'll respect her decision, even if she doesn't care and stays with the Shredder. It is her life, and she is allowed to have her own here's and there's.

His here is good, for now. He is content with it, and he can't see any there that is drastically different from what he has at the moment. Karai, perhaps, but that is the only major change that could happen. His greatest wish – for Tang Shen – is unreachable, he knows, but he lets it remain a secret wish anyway.

It's better than obtaining some other joy only to have it all come burning down again.


	7. mirror

**Still Human**

_7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself._

Perhaps he likes Casey because he reminds him of himself.

Raphael knows he is a hothead, knows he has anger management issues, and knows he takes great pleasure in beating up others. Casey Jones shares these qualities, and it's something he can relate to, something that he finds reflected back at him from the human world.

It is, perhaps, also why he hates Casey at times, because there are definitely times when he hates those qualities about himself. But most of the time, he shoulders his anger and hotheadedness and makes the best of it, just like Casey does, and he can't help but admire that in the human.

It might also be part of the reason he both despises and admires Karai.

The kunoichi is cunning and strong and full of determination, traits he sees in himself. She's effective and hard-hitting and doesn't let an enemy forget her.

But she also holds anger, deep inside, and when it rears up and breaks the surface she's as scary as he is – according to Mikey, anyway.

Anger is his most defining trait, and it's the trait that he can't figure out. He can't decide if he hates it or loves it. But it's still who he _is_, and so as he watches others who share his anger he'll try to figure out where it falls on his list of things to like or things to hate.


	8. choice

**Still Human**

_8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the resources and tools you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours._

He's always dreamed of being a hero.

Leonardo watched "Space Heroes" religiously, and all his brothers find some entertainment in "Super Robo-Mecha Force Five", but in both shows he finds the ability of the leaders to power through and successfully save the day nothing short of inspiring.

But he's a mutant turtle, and a ninja at that. His sensei, having been human once, has warned him of the dangers of exposure to the humans above; they won't accept them. They'll fear them. They'll _do things_ to them.

April, Casey, Mr. O'Neil, and even Karai are exceptions, but they also prove the rule. They were terrified, too, at first (though Karai did an excellent job of hiding it).

He wants to be a hero. He wants to save innocents wherever he can. He wants to make a _difference_ in this crazy, messed up world they call home.

Leo doesn't care about the recognition. Helping from the shadows is a good a start as any.

He just hopes he's making the right choice.


	9. answers

**Still Human**

_9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust._

He loves technology because it gives him all the answers.

Donnie can easily surf the Internet to find information he needs to build something, or take something apart, or finish with his retro-mutagen. Any questions his brothers have that he doesn't know the answer to, he looks up and finds the solution.

It's harder, though, when it comes to the more philosophical questions.

He's not as good when it comes down to that fine line of what is morally right versus wrong, what he can do as a ninja and what he can never do as a sentient being. He gazes at Timothy constantly, wondering if what they've done to him (by accident, but it was their fault nonetheless) can ever be undone.

If any of it can really be undone.

Donatello shudders and breathes deeply, tears welling in his eyes as he sinks into his chair and gazing at his retro-mutagen notes. The mutagen they've managed to collect from the giant tank that Baxter Stockman had at his lab could make enough doses to cure about half of the mutants they currently know about, as soon as he manages to synthesize it, but at the same time he doesn't know who should get it. Should he give it to as many mindless animals as possible, like the Squirrelanoids, or should he find as many sentient humans as possible and ask them about it first (like with Splinter…)?

It's not fair, this game he plays, the line he walks. No one, nothing at all, can give him the answers he needs.

He huddles on the floor and wonders why he can't figure it out for himself.

(He will, eventually, because he knows deep in his heart what he should do. But there's always the doubt that hangs over him like a cloud, and he can't shake it off.)

(It scares him.)


	10. forget

Last one. Thank you guys for following this and supporting it. Thank you for every review you've left. I hope you've enjoyed as much as I have!

* * *

**Still Human**

_10. You will forget all this._

Michelangelo is a carefree soul, one who doesn't let anything tie him down. He forgets things, sometimes, sure, but he remembers the important things.

The idea of forgetting _anything_ significant to his life - to who he is - terrifies him.

He keeps a scrapbook hidden in his mess of a room – it's an organized mess, to him, and he can find it and slap pictures in it whenever necessary, jotting down captions and descriptions if he has a few minutes to spare. He looks back to the very beginning, and smiles at pictures of the early days, when they were young and cared little of the world above the sewers.

He's going to need a new scrapbook, soon.

The sketchbook he stores away has several quick drawings in it as well. Crude drawings from childhood mark the first few pages, but his skill visibly increases closer to the present. Currently he is sketching Karai, poised and sophisticated on a rooftop, from memory. He wants to capture her regal elegance and scary determination, because the last he saw of her after the incident with Tiger Claw and the giant worm things she looked almost…lost.

(He hopes she doesn't stay like that. She's not the nicest, but that comes with being a ninja, and at the very least she's honorable and worthy of their respect. Plus, even though they're all still new to the idea, she is technically family.)

As he finishes his sketch, he smiles as he hears Raph and Leo arguing about what to watch, with a complaint from Donnie about their noise thrown in. He closes the book and stashes it, then leaps from his bed to annoy his brothers like he's always done.

He never wants these moments to end.

(He never wants to forget.)


End file.
